A subject I keep returning to is this paramount value I place on humor, on people making me laugh. This I believe: you could be cruel, you could be an asshole, but if you made me laugh I'd hold on. I'd love you. I wonder what the breaking point is. I wonder if laughter is better than sex. I specifically wonder this when I think about a long--ok not that long--but when I think about the women who have me laugh...and a fuzzy picture emerges of a life together that could be just as good. What did we lose? Maybe I'm simply more attracted to the unknown than my relationships. Look at what I write about. It's not often about the person I'm with but about the people I've lost. Human nature?


Rent Head

On a drive up to the mountains, JP and I listened to the Rent soundtrack, and my head flooded with all these associations. I don't remember listening to the music that frequently, but my memory must be selective. I can sing along with the whole show. What I do remember is:

My aunt got tickets for us to see the show on Broadway. I invited Beth. We went to the theater on the wrong night (our tickets were for the night before), but the staff was very nice and set up chairs at the ends of aisles so we could watch the performance.

On the trip to London with Ms. Sullivan, Jess and I were always singing "Out Tonight."

Rich Murg was a devoted fan. Jarnell played Angel in "Today 4 U" for Theater Arts class.

Natalie, this girl from Livingston, did Maureen's song for me one night on the Atlantic City boardwalk. We were in All-State Chorus, down to perform at the convention center.

As Becky's confirmation sponsor, I had to go with her to a "retreat" in the OLM Parish Center/gym. Part of the day's exercises involved sharing things about yourself on a questionnaire and rotating around to different tables. I made fun of Elaine, who wrote down that her motto was "No Day But Today," and she fired back at my choice, ripped from Pocahontas: "Listen With Your Heart--You Will Understand." (We all took these retreats very seriously.)

Very drunk, very upset that my life didn't change just because I went to college, Hari sang "Light My Candle" with me on the balcony of KC3.

Viva la vie bohème.



Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You

I liked this book that was recommended to me, which goes to show that just because something is categorized as "Young Adult" doesn't mean I won't enjoy it. (Side note: I am rediscovering how amazing the library is.)

I was fascinated by the scenes with the therapist (because I'm dating one) because they were terrifying to me. It seemed like the characters were engaged in an ongoing battle of wills, and I wondered if that's what it's really like.

Having just mentioned the week at Boys State, it was funny/creepy/spot on to see that James' episode of panic is brought on by a week at "The American Classroom" in Washington, D.C., a seminar on government with two students from each state attending.

"Sometimes I can't stand you, James. You're so reluctant to show any enthusiasm about anything, or even allow it in other people."

It felt like being stung with that criticism all over again.

James' therapist asks him:
"Is that what makes people happy: food and fashion and weather?"
The response:
"'No,'I said. 'It's the other way around. Happy people make good food and fashion...I guess one's mood doesn't affect the weather, but it might. It's possible.'"

I am a firm believer that moods can affect the weather.

There were some simple observations on New York that I liked: the NYU Medical Center on a "godforsaken stretch of First Avenue" (so true, Raina and I almost lived there.), and the strangeness of New York in summer, "as if everyone is pretending, as if everyone has been cast as the star in a movie about their life, so they're one step removed from it."

The book is like a week in the life with flashbacks. The story ends with me still having questions, but it was quick, engrossing read that makes me want to check out more from Peter Cameron.

Fantastic Link

Hari pointed me in the direction of the OK Cupid Blog, where analysts look at trends based on data from the dating site. For example, find out about The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures.


Running Commentary #6

February has marked a return to running. The goal is the Platte River Half on Sunday, April, 11. I'm hoping to give myself an early birthday present with a PR.

After the travel needed for last year's marathon, I'm looking forward to doing a local race. But I applied for NY again, so if I get in through the lottery I will do it.

Showtune Tuesday: The Drowsy Chaperone

I love "I don't wanna CHANGE KEYS NO MORE!"


The Denver Coffee Problem

My apartment building offers free coffee in the morning. There is no milk. My office has free coffee. There is no milk. The closest place to work where I can get coffee is Heidi's. There is no milk.

I know there are some clear solutions like BYOB (Bring Your Own, Bitch), but I thought that this trend was worth sharing.

Showtune Tuesday: Legally Blonde The Musical

I had the opportunity to see Legally Blonde open in Denver last week. My first work "perk." It is pretty much what you would expect, which is to say lighthearted and upbeat. I appreciated some of the scenic design, like how the Greek columns of a sorority house become part of the law school set for Harvard, because I don't think I have a head for that kind of creativity. My favorite line was when Elle goes to Harvard in person (with a marching band and cheerleaders, obvi) for her application, and she starts demonstrating her knowledge of legal jargon. (This is like the video essay she submits in the movie.) She says, "I'm ready for my cross!" and proceeds to do a grapevine-like move across the stage.

The opening number is "Omigod, You Guys." It starts at about 1:25.


24 Words for Burrito

Overheard at the Beach House this week:

"JP, did you and your sister play 'Lumpia' when you were little?"

"What's that?"

"Did you ever roll each other up in blankets? Like an eggroll."

"Well...that's not what it was called."

"What did you call it?"

"That was 'Cannoli.'"



That damn picture of owls in Jared's house: a stitched sign of a family of owls, the last and smallest owl hanging upside down and the words, "NOBODY'S PERFECT." The only time I was in his house was the day he showed me the game Resident Evil 2 that we had joked about on the London trip. ("Open the glove compartment." "There's a gun inside.") At the house all I was thinking about was whether Jared was gay. I saw that owl picture in the kitchen and imagined him as the little upside down one. I guess if you ask God for a sign, sometimes he gives you one quite literally.


A simple joy of these years is to stand on a street corner, look up, and see the light on.


Holy Shit

Recover from your case of the Mondays by considering these:

1. Horchata: I have tasted this cinnamony deliciousness but twice. Now it is always on my mind.

2. Last night, I saw part of "Planet Earth Extremes" and got super scared by learning about a fungus that drives ants insane and controls their brains and leads them to die in a spot that's good for the fungus to reproduce! The show had crazy time-lapse footage, which I do not recommend watching while you are eating.

3. On MSN via Go Fug Yourself, ABBAWORLD has opened in London. "Well, they're calling it a theme park, but the article makes it sound more like an exhibition. They do not appear to have, say, a Super Trouper Rollercoaster. Which is a mistake. Either way, obviously, I want to go."