It is that joyous time of year when my father brings home the MCHS yearbook. It is more fascinating than it should be to look at the yearbook of a school you did not go to. One reason is I know the teachers better than I know the kids, so it is always fun to look at their pictures. I also enjoy browsing through the seniors to look at how the experience on their island is so close and so far from mine in NJ: the hair styles, the quotations...

For example, in 1999, the year of my high school graduation, 8 people from Staten Island quoted Billy Joel; 3 people from WP quoted Phish. 3 people from Staten Island quoted Aerosmith and 1 person quoted Casino.One person in each class quoted Pink Floyd. Interestingly, 1 SI person quoted Alice Roosevelt Longworth.

I know I'm not selling you on this, so I'll go now.


The Family Tree: A Handful of Other Things

General disposition: father.

Volume of my voice: with most people, Dad's. With friends, Mom's. With family, Dad's because no one could ever be as loud as my mom when she is around. To the uninitiated, having Bonnie and her two sisters talking in one room is...loud.

How I act when angry: I think my natural state is closer to my father's, but my anger, I suspect, is more like my mother's--a manic explosion and then off to brunch! My father broods. I don't know. Maybe I use both depending on the occasion.

Tendency to laugh at myself: mother. I did a simple thought experiment. If my mom tripped and fell in a public setting, she would probably laugh (as long as she wasn't injured.) My dad's primary reaction would be embarrassment. My dad is the one that would yell at you for spilling a drink at dinner.

Tendency to save crap in shoe boxes: I think this is an M thing, but it's hard to tell because both grandmothers saved a lot of junk.

Tendency to cry during movies, weddings, or family celebrations: DAD.

Use of curse words: MOM. I think I've heard my dad say "fuck" once in my life.

Blogging at midnight: It's a new world, Golde. A new world.


One Never Mentions Fight Club

I think my favorite part of Jane Austen's Fight Club is when the dog jumps off the girl's lap. Oh, Internet, what would we do without you?


Dear Jenn

Somewhere on the Great Wall of Tapes was "Punk Rock Girl." Last night I was dancing, and the DJ played that song. It was amazing.



Happy anniversary, Bailamos: telling an idiot's tale for ten years!



I should mention in the life update department that I will be moving in with the bf soon. I'm looking forward to it. I should also mention that I would not have survived this month at work if it were not for him.


The Family Tree: Travel

Let's start off with one of those things that I think came from both of my parents.

About a year ago, I embarked on one of my parents' crazy journeys: we were going up to Boston so I could meet Imme for the first time, the next day departing for Mohegan Sun so they could gamble, and then taking a ferry across the Sound to spend 4th of July and Mom's birthday in Shirley. At one of our meals, my dad said to my mom, "61, and still on the run." It was like an inside joke between them, and that was cool to see.

I think my parents have enjoyed leaving their house as much as (if not more than) living in it. They are active, not in the Denver "outdoorsy" way, but they have an interest to see new places and learn things. My parents have been making their way across the world for a while, and they also brought the kids with them. They took us to Florida for Easter. They took us to Long Island in the summer. They took us to Vermont for a weekend each winter. They chaperoned Dad's school's trips to Europe, which meant I got to see another country when I was 10 years old. When I wanted to go on a school trip to Ireland with friends in high school, they paid for it. As an adult, when I think of going to visit places I haven't been to before, often the 'rents already have. They returned from trips with a small photo or painting of the area as a souvenir, and the wall following the staircase up to our bedrooms at home serves as a reminder of their expeditions. (Thus, not only did my parents instill a love of travel, I think I also learned, for better or worse, an anti-modern aesthetic: mark a good home by filling the space with as much as shit as possible.)

We inherited a love of getting away. Jenn is in Maine. Becky was in Vegas a few weeks ago. I was driving through Louisiana last weekend, en route to Bunkie, thinking 1)here was a place my parents had not been and 2) JP and I have spent many hours in the car together. I hope to be running still when I'm 61.


Things I Say

Last week, JP pointed out that I often quote a line from the movie Dumb and Dumber, so much so that it's become second nature:

"So you're telling me there's a chance!"

This prompted me to ask him what he thinks my "top 10 sayings" are. We talked mostly about movies and identified:

1. The movie that I have the deepest repertoire of quotations from is Clueless.

2. The movie I quote most frequently is Dumb and Dumber with the line above...

3. ...or maybe, in more recent times, Knocked Up, by saying "I like Spiderman." This happens in the scene after they bust Paul Rudd playing fantasy baseball, and he says he went to the movies the other day just to be alone, and when he tells his wife what movie, she whines, "I like Spiderman." When my boyfriend does something I wanted to do but I wasn't able to, I tell him that.


This is Bullshit

Work, I mean.


Upcoming Projects

1. This family tree thing I was discussing is never going to happen in one sitting, so I'm thinking of just posting about it.

2. I stumbled upon NaNoWriMo a few weeks ago and am thinking of participating. It sounds terribly difficult. I don't remember the last time I wrote fiction (or complete fiction), and I haven't even attempted writing a short story since I was required to for school projects. But the focus is on output, not quality, and it sounds bizarrely fun. I will have hopefully just finished a marathon in October. This would be like a marathon for my brain. Anyone interested? Some motivation would help.

3. Everyone has a photo project, but those photo-a-day ones are way too ambitious for me. However, I think I'd like it and it would be a good way to get some pictures of the city in which I live (I already know what I want the first photo to be), and I'd be able to add some pictures to the blog (Hannah). Maybe a photo per week or month. The problem is I suck at taking pictures, so don't get too excited.


A Tour of the Monuments of Whippany

My father drives me up Fairchild.
I stare hard at Sue's house.
I look for a light on in the window
that used to be hers but
who knows whose it is now.

I board the train at Convent Station to go to work.
I take a seat on the north side of the train so I can see it pass by.
Between Madison and Chatham the trees open up on a clearing and power lines.
I've convinced myself that I've been to that spot
on a day when John was driving around.
I said to keep going because
I didn't want to leave his company.

In December, I drive past Matt's house.
There is a larger-than-life nutcracker
on the front steps where I kissed Erin.
I was drunk. I was terrible.
"That was not my best," she said.
Idiot-laughing we kissed again.

I get picked up from the station.
We ascend Ford Hill and approach Mike's house.
I look for his car but have to remember
it's not a Geo and not a Jeep anymore,
and by the time I realize this, it is gone.

Intro or Outro or What I've Been Thinking About

Over the past few weeks I've been thinking I've been bad at everything. Bad at work. A bad brother, bad son, bad friend; someone that Becky would say "sucks at life." I've remembered birthdays but sent no gifts. I have cards piled up for my parents, I've even been home, but I have not written the cards. In my head I have called out "Mommy" in a way that I have not since I was in school, because I'm failing and whatever else I might think about my parents they are still what I believe to be real, functioning adults, and as such they might have solutions. And then I just finished writing these blurbs and thought, God, in New Jersey, you are always driving by something.


Just Dance

Watch. This. Now.


Good Things This Week

Admittedly, there's not much. I thought all-nighters ended in college but it turns out sometimes the business world requires them. Seriously?

Still, let us rejoice about:

1. Hob Nobs have been found in Denver: everyone's favorite nobbly, oaty biscuit can be purchased in the Centennial State.

2. A friend recommended creating a Pandora station based on the song "After All" by Cher and Peter Cetera. Listening gold, bitches.

3. Watching all of True Blood season 1 in about a week. This show is completely trashy, but also hilarious and cute. JUST LIKE ME!