"Your grandparents will never understand," my mother told me flatly during one argument.

Most of my extended family met JP at Jenn's wedding many years later. His hair was long then and always fell in his eyes; Becky called it "the Rihanna haircut." We had breakfast in the hotel the day after the wedding. My grandmother, who met JP the day before, stood behind him as we lingered around the table. She used her hand to sweep his hair over and out of his face.

That gesture told me not to underestimate anyone's understanding. It made me wonder about all the things that she has seen that I have not and never will.

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