5.30.2013

A Step Back

Blue because I was wearing a blue shirt.

Mindfulness question: how important is the emphasis on the present moment?  What if you are thinking about college, and then you are thinking about even before the first weekend, you might start with your expectations (when I go to college,everything will be different...), and then you start thinking about what exactly you thought would be different, and that makes you think about how you thought you would go to college and "come out", and that makes me you think about how you first came out to a handful of people in 1998, and that reminds you that during the intervening period blue was also what you were feeling, but surely days weren't all bad because that's also when you remember falling in love every five minutes, but that may not be the best description of what boils down to a list of unusual moments in interactions with straight friends, and maybe the best word to describe that time is: waiting.

So if that life chapter is summarized by waiting and the past few nights has been swatting at memories, then when exactly am I "living in the moment and awakening to experience"?

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